20102010

on and through glass

I have been scanning for three days.

by some miracle I found an Epson

flatbed scanner that was compatible

with my computer in Bequia.

Big sigh of relief.

I really wanted the chance to just be

in my space for a couple days and just

do, do, do. I swam on Christmas day

and collected sea grass that washed

up from the surging. It is in a huge aluminum

bowl on our tank in fresh water, smelling

to high heaven of the sea, raw and decay.

I sat under the stars tonight with my

father. We talked God, politics,

Africa and the sea. I love being here.

Below is an image from the new series

Imprints. © seabed

Crossbreed

it is my mission this holiday to collect

every photograph on the island from way back when

to the late 60's, my parents got me a scanner. I think i may just skim the

surface of this goal. Today alone I traced the island's

roots back to the 17th century, collected maps, last wills and testaments

and got flung around by names like Ephraim, McPherson, Isaiah

John Peter, Abraham, Jane, Eleanor and Rose. All reduced

to stories that have trickled down and are now untrustworthy.

I come from the whalers.

Open Studios

Arielle Bier, Holly Bynoe, Jesse Chan, Tara Cronin, Ame Curtiss, Hernease Davis, Dillon DeWaters, Ryan Easter, Sam Falls, Waqas Farid, Olimpia Ferrari, Curtis Hamilton, Michael Itkoff, Tuomas Korpijaakko, Michelle Leedy, Pierre Le Hors, Garret Miller, Róisín Morris, Clark Nelson, Liz Sales, Sayaka Taninokuchi, Alejandra Ugarte Bedwell, Jason Woolfolk

Friday, December 18, 2009

7:00pm - 11:00pm

24-20 Jackson Ave. Long Island City, New York

inside my studio, general shots of the front gallery. Main Piece

titled "Passed on" 24"x36" printing on 140 lb newsprint.

David Deitcher, my MFA thesis advisor looking at the work, and

miscellaneous shots of the work and area.

meek and mild

One of my few goals this semester was

to try to see if i can get a web presence that

i could update and contain. I got a new domain but

finding someone to do it has been to hard. After

sitting down with this http://hbynoe.otherpeoplespixels.com/

for a couple minutes, I think right now i am going

to spend some money and get a template site so I can

sell myself after I leave the institution. I quite like it and

it will be a platform for me to share a lot and write as well.

Tell me what you guys think if you ever make it around to

this end.

The semester is speeding to a close at an uncomfortable speed

for me. I feel as though I haven't done much at all but I know it isn't

true. My solo thesis show is coming up on the 19th of March I was freaking out

until I found that creating completely wipes out the anxiety for me. So i am up

again at a god forsaken hour praying for 2 gigs of extra memory for my

slow as snail photoshop.

I tried printing the collages today on newsprint. I was using Ilford Gallerie

Silk paper but decided that it was a little to precious for them and maybe they

need to be un-contained. I will be hanging my work for open studios sometime tomorrow or early Wednesday then I am gone for a couple weeks. I have been having some really insanely beautiful days this past month. I don't know what I am doing right but whatever it is my heart feels good.

Below:

Meek and Mild.

sugar blossom

A scan of a sugar cane blossom, text from a indexical card

at the picture library of the NYPL and photo of my mother

from the late 50's. Lines, surfaces and a jumble of proverbs.

Proverbs was the seminal book in my childhood worshipping

time. I guess the reference for sweet is also there I wanted to

make this one beautiful, feminine and soft. Like a gentle warm breeze

contrasting it with bible text that is seemingly anti-feminine and

filled with hateful comments regarding "she" and "her".

i have a map of the world

collage of a 15th century map, my friend damali and

all sorts of cultural affects ranging from

coin heads, lines, ships, slavery, water, cities, it

sort of goes on and on. I am learning photoshop again and

patience which mostly alludes me. 9 days and ill be home!

1940

my grandfather and his brother.

these collages keep rescuing me

they keep changing and challenging

me. Finally I am at a place where

it seems as though nature and intuition

is pulling me. I am in tow. A lot of the

text is lost because of the size. These

are going to live large: 20x30. They deserve

it.

after Colon.

no rest for the wicked.

this is my 5th straight day

of burning the midnight oil.

inspiration.

what an inspirational uplifting day.

i haven't had one of these in ages.

thank you earth.

boy!

You're real boy
Speak to me boy
Dog dirty numb cracking boy
You're getting wet boy
Big big time boy

partition

i am doing some stuff. so that

i try not to be stuck for long.

PS1

this will sound really bad. there is no way around it at all. I have never gone

to PS1 before. i know start the jaw droppings etc. One of my good mates called

me up yesterday and tried to get me out a funk by telling me that i needed to

go to see some Rebecca Horn videos. Boy am I happy i kicked myself in the ass

and headed over.

Not only was it just so inspirational to see her work but it really made me want to have fun again. you know the dress up and escape type of fun. So today October 26th 2009, Holly is going to try to have fun, cause if I don't ill become something else. Fuck trying to shoot medium format, large format film. I can do it! I am going to return to my lowly beginnings and revert to being a hardcore digital photographer. After all I have had a magnificent Canon Mark II 5D sitting in the corner for months.....months. I have been to afraid to touch it. Fuck being afraid. Fuck everything that brings me down and that has been bringing me down for the past two months.

Oh Rebecca Horn, yes her sculptural wardrobe. I heart it. However the thing that kinda stole the show for me was funny enough a piece by my felix, your felix, our felix. Of course i am referring to none other than the incredible, heart speaker Felix Gonzalez-Torres. This piece was done in a collaboration with Chritopher Wool it reads:

"the show is ov

er the audien

ce get up to le

ave their sea

ts time to col

lect their co

ats and go hom

e they turn ar

ound no more c

oats and no mo

re home

I find his work to be so full of emotion without hitting me over the head or guiding me on

some high art goose chase where nothing happens but disconnection and disappointment.

Robert Bergman's portraits were on view as well. I really liked some of them how he used light to bring out the characters personality but i was bothered by some of them particularly the portraits of destitute blacks. I don't know if i can comment any more on it but it seems like he was investigating something more than just mere poverty or struggle. I read somewhere that they were supposed to highlight the inextinguishable sacredness of the human race, maybe it was on PS1's site. I didn't' see that in the people, no perseverance other than their presence. The sizes made me relate more so than if they were smaller and larger, some of the crazy colors and the points of focus were super stylized and added to the overall sense. I still dont see Bergman as a photographer getting down and dirty with his subjects though. There was one in particular, in the second room a lady smiling with two red splotches on her face. There was such honesty and strife in it, i found that to be the most fascinating for me.

Pippilotti Rist is in the floor as well. She is insane. I love her. To bad Lenadro Erlich's Swimming Pool was empty when i got there. It would be amazing to see when the place is full. p.s i love the smell of oil paint. Inside it reminded me of my father's room on Pattree. I love seeing good art, it rescues me from all sorts things that aren't good for me.

Like me.

see Rebecca Horn's Piece here:

and someone who i have found fascinating recently

Kalup Linzy

he be crazy yo!

spin spin spin

trudging along with the archive, trying to make it something else.

i love this and wanted to share.

carry your own cross slut!

crit.

I had my critique about a week ago and I am still reeling.

Still trying to figure things out. how certain things functioned

and others not so well.

My one fear was that I was being a little safe and way to reverent.

I guess it is hard to separate the way i feel about a lot of things and

show the gut of it all. I have to get to that gut. Some of the images

address this and some dont consider it.

I find myself growing increasingly frustrated with photography,

It is something that i constantly think about and obsess over.

If only I knew the answers. Here is what I am working on:

- Video and Audio of newspaper articles

-Learn to use Photoshop more efficiently.

- Poems & Short Stories

-Weekly Audio Pieces that expand upon documenting home.

If it seems as though i am flailing it is because I am.

here is what was shown!

65

65.

finale

10.10.09

underground trying not to freak out.

collage

a new series of spaces. this is I.

red.red. i pissed my bed

not really. I have stopped thinking and started doing.

feels good!

rough

I scanned some images this morning.

I don't know how they will all come together.

i am thinking a very small triptych or two triptychs.

I am having a problem relating my points of

interests and their convergence. Trying to make images

speak, intersect and build on a concept or a feeling is always so hard for me.

+ i am shooting again.

Order|Rules|Regulations

for the last three or so days i have been happy, the type of happy that makes me

worried, expecting a big crash to come at the end of it all. I think the vitamins are

beginning to help even me out. B complex, magnesium and calcium are a godsend. Or

it could be that the prayer and meditation is finally working.

I got two organizers today and went through a year of paper, it is amazing how much of

it i kept. My life is now organized in 30 folders and there is this amazing sense of

accomplishment. I think i am finding new ways of ignoring all the work I have to do.

Cleaning, reading, walking and of course the old means of escape is always there as well.

I have started shooting some film again, true sign that I am in between lost and found. On any

other day I would find myself deep in anxiety but something out of the ordinary, extraordinary is happening to me. In the last few days I have seen a lot of art and my mind seems sponge-ish and my tongue looser. I am doing all sorts of multi tasking and it finally seems as though some sort of normalcy is creeping back in after the hell of last year.

Or i just could be having a good day.

quenip!

glorious morning and my mood is completely synchronized,

on friday I went deep into brooklyn and found some

quineps, chinets, ackees - true sign of the existing melting pot

that i come from. They come from the Dominican Republic although

the vendor swore they were from Trinidad. He was wrong and

I am now the holder of a export tag.

My mother still tells me to be careful when i eat them, the slippery

deliciousness is all that i could ask for this morning.

a new route

I have decided upon leaving my internship on thursdays,

fridays and on tuesdays once a month, I will do it

by walking over the brooklyn bridge and taking a new path

uptown until my feet hurt. note to self, blisters

really hurt & buy a pair of sneakers.

Now a word from our sponsors!!!

Fellowship & Open Call Opportunities
www.airgallery.org

wish.

i took my camera with me today,

the ferries were gleaming at sundown

and all the ships in the new york harbor spoke

rapidly to me at the same time.

hustle

dock **thership

Oh captain, my captain

the art of walking

I am reading Rebecca Solnit's "Wanderlust" and it has inspired me to get out of my head and really be with myself. Walking was something that I never really considered before. The repetition of motion coupled with the solace and surprising freedom that I have experienced since I have taken it up is really a pure joy. She writes so intricately weaving histories of walkers, paths, gardens, aristocrats, philosophers and of course experience, it makes me in many ways jealous. Her share knowledge is intimidating, alarming and of course beyond all of that inspirational.

Just as I was beginning to welcome the idea of some time alone it was cut short, it is fine though as I have this whole world to explore now that I am willing and the thought of doing it alone which was once a scary thought, now I welcome. Through the drizzle in Chelsea I traversed through many galleries most of which were new to me, I say this with a lot of shame as I should have gotten out a lot more last year. I didn't.

13. That is about 7 more than planned and tonight as I lay in bed another prayer ascends. Objects, Installations, Photographs, Video, Painting and writing in excess. Not the bloated type of excess but the kind where it begins to feel like a soft warm place. My favorites from the day Nazaket Ekici's 8 channel video Installation "Kopfsonate" @ Claire Oliver Gallery. The thing that stuck me about this was the audio and how it synced with the body to create so many questions for me, questions about tempo, perspective, the function of repetition, the body as subject and object. I love the way it was installed uncomplicated and clean.

Another was Maysey Craddock "Borderland" the vintage photographs with gouache that managed to fill in space and time, updating the idea of the found archive. The way they were installed was what i was most interested in, and the space around each of them, how the colors complimented but also gave direction on how to fill in your personal story into each of these photographs. It functioned.

The reason I really wanted and itched to go to Chelsea was to see Simen Johan's "Until the Kingdom Comes". Stepping into a gallery with preconcieved notions is always something that i am aware of. Needless to say the share size of the prints was astonishing and I couldn't help but read into all of them as sublime and oddly religious. I think the theme of honoring and respecting nature and merging it between real and unreal is really hard. A challenge, he pulls it off in this really weird way, I am not the type of person to sit down and judge quality of prints

etc but standing next to the images I felt dwarfed, humbled and honored to be a part of this world. I was sad that there was only one sculptural piece present, it was what i was drawn to more than anything. It was intricate and had many treasures running through this collection of (cock fowl) feathers: beetles, eggs, smaller birds, larger ones, dead embryos. I wanted to reach into it and dig around and smell it all.

Other notable mentions were Kara Walker and Sikkema Jenkins her video piece is a must see and Peter Hujar @ Matthew Marks mostly his early works. By the time I was through four hours had passed and I was famished, so I had to skip Maya Lin. I took myself out for a late late lunch then saw Inglorious Basterds by far my favorite QT movie ever. I heart Hans Landa & Aldo, it is all about the dialogue and the awkward laugh out loud (read snort) humor. I found it blisteringly funny, vicious and hopefully romantic rewriting history and all.

I also saw my first dead body in New York today, car accident @ 40th and 8th Avenue, the street was littered with police and shocked faces. I tried not to look, I tried really really hard not to look, but the stains on the white got to me.

gloomy friday

new york is grey today. it seems like summer just decided to drop off

the face of the earth without saying a proper goodbye. It is always hard

for me to accept the lack of light that is going to happen discretely from

now till sometime in March/April.

all the lights are on in my space this morning, my coffee is hot and I am

procrastinating in a beautiful head space, not in any seriousness but in

a "my god i need two more hours". I was jarred awake from a dream about

my grandmother and another family friend who passed away when i was at

home this summer. I have been dreaming of the elderly a lot recently. I guess

age is on my mind.

I have been alone for the last six days at first it felt odd, like I would go crazy but on the third day it began to feel really good. I need space and solitude and just when I think maybe I am the opposite type of personality mornings like these say other wise. The opening at A.I.R went really well, I guess it isn't the type of environment but I really loved it, seeing so many people come to see art, talk, get drunk, smile, support each other. It was all about the love, and even though i didn't get to see much, today I go back and will take the time to see it all.

I guess this morning I feel good. I haven't felt good in a long time. I have this really ambitious list for the weekend which includes:

I. finishing my website (ha)!

II. see some shows

I know most of these wont happen but I refuse to treat NYC the way I did last year. I'll embrace her with love, she is culturally unique, unlike any other place on earth. So much beauty and resilience, especially today.

artwalking.

I painted.

spotted

ran wine errands

taped

hung lights..fixed fixtures

..dug through storage rooms for white paint, artist portfolios

more light fixtures, taped, tipped a sweet cabbie from Florida..

had breakfast and lunch outside under the brooklyn and the manhattan,

swept, met two artists and felt oddly motivated.

I guess it is officially NYC art season. I plan to see a lot of things

this time around and not get suckered into going home or just

being fixated but really enjoying all that is art.

Started things off going down to Cheim & Read to see "Women looking at Women", I love and I hate the environment of "Chelsea".

The show however is a stunner, a room full of women examining, piercing, forcing, subduing and subverting each other. I think what stood out most to me were the double images by Holzer

and this painting by Marlene Dumas

. Funny thing I saw the retrospective for her at the MoMA earlier this year and it didn't impress me. Maybe i was afraid to see.

I love how she interprets light, her brush stroke is so thick and dense, and i love when she gives way to color, and the power of gesture. All in all a good way to return to the zone. I also headed to see Fudong's film "Seven Intellectuals in a Bamboo forest", run time of 5 hours, I managed to get through half of it then nodded off and left not because it was boring but Part I took me away to a land of fog, mystery, slow heavy breaths. He does magnificent work dealing with relationships, I love how he uses white/blown out/whitewhitewhite and dialogue. Is the word expound? a subject as an expounder, abstractly and very loosely so.

And much more to come. I am tired but it is a good tired and out of whatever space I was in mentally last week. I guess i can say thank god for art.