a piper

There is no one home to come home to,

no one home to avoid, no one home to pay homage to,

no home at all,

just an emptiness that suffocates my attempts to

fertilize it with stubborn hope.

Adrian Piper 1992

http://www.adrianpiper.com

an arms and a couple legs

I have finished printing for my show.

the book will be sent to the binders

this week. The framing has been picked out,

and i am still weeping on the inside from

guilt at the amount. The work deserves it.

I still have to sort the promotional aspects,

getting text on vinyl, editing video and figuring out

projections, installation etc.

I am beyond exhausted and my body

could use some sea, sun, fish broth and warmth.

May cant come soon enough, the anxiety is

making me weary. In other news, I am quite happy, and

may have a screening of one of my short films in Brooklyn later

this month if i say yes.

Love and light

bradford

the compounds continue:

getting my shit together

I have begun making streams of lists on

almost every piece of paper i touch. I cant seem to leave

dates, times and spaces empty anymore. There is this

conscious urge to occupy myself with everything

so i can force myself to interact with parts of me I haven't

before.

this year the word is fearless. it has to be. I prepared a statement

to read during an artist talk that was postponed, I was all sorts

of excited for the opportunity. Holly a while aback would have

had a panic attack and tried multiple ways to avoid it.

I think i need more of these challenges in my life. There has been

large format printing, getting frustrated with video,

colors, thoughts, and myself. But mostly i think i am happy, in a sort

of weird moment that is prolonged now as I think back on the past weeks

since i have retuned to the big city.

I love my school, I was walking through the halls this morning

before anyone got here and looked at the lights that lined down the corridor

and mused to myself that in a couple weeks it would be a sight no more for me. It saddened me, it has come and gone to fast. It isn't over but i feel the end approaching fast. This thesis show ordeal is bugging me out and i am constantly shifting through ways to sort and manage the neuroses that come up. I think I am managing plus it helps that I think the work is in a state now where many things can happen.

I just don't want to stop doing. If i learned anything at procuring this degree

is that stopping isn't for someone like me. I need to be in constant motion,

I need to be bombarded and challenged. I want my mind to forever be a sponge. I want to feel out of sorts, not good enough and beat myself up. There is a strange element of joy I attain through it all.

love and light

H

Lauren Simkin Berke

has a blog and i am a big fan.

http://sketchbookdrawings.blogspot.com/