gloomy friday

new york is grey today. it seems like summer just decided to drop off

the face of the earth without saying a proper goodbye. It is always hard

for me to accept the lack of light that is going to happen discretely from

now till sometime in March/April.

all the lights are on in my space this morning, my coffee is hot and I am

procrastinating in a beautiful head space, not in any seriousness but in

a "my god i need two more hours". I was jarred awake from a dream about

my grandmother and another family friend who passed away when i was at

home this summer. I have been dreaming of the elderly a lot recently. I guess

age is on my mind.

I have been alone for the last six days at first it felt odd, like I would go crazy but on the third day it began to feel really good. I need space and solitude and just when I think maybe I am the opposite type of personality mornings like these say other wise. The opening at A.I.R went really well, I guess it isn't the type of environment but I really loved it, seeing so many people come to see art, talk, get drunk, smile, support each other. It was all about the love, and even though i didn't get to see much, today I go back and will take the time to see it all.

I guess this morning I feel good. I haven't felt good in a long time. I have this really ambitious list for the weekend which includes:

I. finishing my website (ha)!

II. see some shows

I know most of these wont happen but I refuse to treat NYC the way I did last year. I'll embrace her with love, she is culturally unique, unlike any other place on earth. So much beauty and resilience, especially today.