a trek

This morning I forced myself to raise at an ungodly hour and watched the waning moon get lost as the sun rose. I trekked down to Moonhole via speed boat with a great friend of mine who has signed up to be a guinea pig for a short experimental video that is currently in production through Tuesday. I don't think she or anyone understands what they are in for, mostly me. I was so afraid of coming home and sitting on my ass and doing nothing, thankfully a few kind souls are still willing to extend themselves beyond belief. I am giving myself these timelines and trusting my body and hoping that something great will come out of these projects, successes are tied closely to failure right now in my life and I have had some pretty massive ups and downs, turning points and burnt some bridges that needed to go up in flames. So i hope I at least learn a lesson or two, actually if that is my goal then i have a long way to go with trusting and understanding how a little patience and persistence really does make things run so much smoother. I am by nature very nervous, anxious and short fused. And after this year in NYC I need to find a way to control it as I loose it a lot, most people I come across in the academic world look at me and say two words, trust and confidence. I also blindly casted my captain/lover/father /masculine energy by the side of the road this morning, he is wild, they call him Bushman. So far my ass is killing me and i napped like a baby from 1-3:30 pm, tomorrow I will collect via boat- Ticky, a tripod, and a cow foot.