partition

i am doing some stuff. so that

i try not to be stuck for long.

PS1

this will sound really bad. there is no way around it at all. I have never gone

to PS1 before. i know start the jaw droppings etc. One of my good mates called

me up yesterday and tried to get me out a funk by telling me that i needed to

go to see some Rebecca Horn videos. Boy am I happy i kicked myself in the ass

and headed over.

Not only was it just so inspirational to see her work but it really made me want to have fun again. you know the dress up and escape type of fun. So today October 26th 2009, Holly is going to try to have fun, cause if I don't ill become something else. Fuck trying to shoot medium format, large format film. I can do it! I am going to return to my lowly beginnings and revert to being a hardcore digital photographer. After all I have had a magnificent Canon Mark II 5D sitting in the corner for months.....months. I have been to afraid to touch it. Fuck being afraid. Fuck everything that brings me down and that has been bringing me down for the past two months.

Oh Rebecca Horn, yes her sculptural wardrobe. I heart it. However the thing that kinda stole the show for me was funny enough a piece by my felix, your felix, our felix. Of course i am referring to none other than the incredible, heart speaker Felix Gonzalez-Torres. This piece was done in a collaboration with Chritopher Wool it reads:

"the show is ov

er the audien

ce get up to le

ave their sea

ts time to col

lect their co

ats and go hom

e they turn ar

ound no more c

oats and no mo

re home

I find his work to be so full of emotion without hitting me over the head or guiding me on

some high art goose chase where nothing happens but disconnection and disappointment.

Robert Bergman's portraits were on view as well. I really liked some of them how he used light to bring out the characters personality but i was bothered by some of them particularly the portraits of destitute blacks. I don't know if i can comment any more on it but it seems like he was investigating something more than just mere poverty or struggle. I read somewhere that they were supposed to highlight the inextinguishable sacredness of the human race, maybe it was on PS1's site. I didn't' see that in the people, no perseverance other than their presence. The sizes made me relate more so than if they were smaller and larger, some of the crazy colors and the points of focus were super stylized and added to the overall sense. I still dont see Bergman as a photographer getting down and dirty with his subjects though. There was one in particular, in the second room a lady smiling with two red splotches on her face. There was such honesty and strife in it, i found that to be the most fascinating for me.

Pippilotti Rist is in the floor as well. She is insane. I love her. To bad Lenadro Erlich's Swimming Pool was empty when i got there. It would be amazing to see when the place is full. p.s i love the smell of oil paint. Inside it reminded me of my father's room on Pattree. I love seeing good art, it rescues me from all sorts things that aren't good for me.

Like me.

see Rebecca Horn's Piece here:

and someone who i have found fascinating recently

Kalup Linzy

he be crazy yo!

spin spin spin

trudging along with the archive, trying to make it something else.

i love this and wanted to share.

carry your own cross slut!

crit.

I had my critique about a week ago and I am still reeling.

Still trying to figure things out. how certain things functioned

and others not so well.

My one fear was that I was being a little safe and way to reverent.

I guess it is hard to separate the way i feel about a lot of things and

show the gut of it all. I have to get to that gut. Some of the images

address this and some dont consider it.

I find myself growing increasingly frustrated with photography,

It is something that i constantly think about and obsess over.

If only I knew the answers. Here is what I am working on:

- Video and Audio of newspaper articles

-Learn to use Photoshop more efficiently.

- Poems & Short Stories

-Weekly Audio Pieces that expand upon documenting home.

If it seems as though i am flailing it is because I am.

here is what was shown!

65

65.

finale

10.10.09

underground trying not to freak out.

collage

a new series of spaces. this is I.